Humanity and I

At heart I am a humanist, not classical, but in the sense that I believe that there is something beautiful and special in every human being and that we are human in a sense that we reach and act above an animal level of self-preservation. I believe that humans have the capacity to transcend themselves in creating beauty, goodness, sacrifice and a love that is larger than self-interest. Love wins.

I believe the above. But unfortunately, although I believe in the inherent capacity, I also believe that it is unlikely that the beautifully human will ever realise in the majority of human beings. Collectively, we have messed things up so bad, created such unhealthy systems and ways of thinking that the great majority of humans will never become human. Mere animals, cute and happy when they get their way, and nasty and cruel when they don’t. The majority of human beings I encounter are utterly uninspiring.

I fail in my humanity, not because I dont care, or because I dont try. My problem is that my naive good faith gets me hurt so bad that instead of having the courage to keep on opening up, I decide to withdraw and settle for the life of safe solitude. Where Im a true skeptic, is that I’m not sure that I really miss anything. Daai magic moments en magic people raak al hoe minder en minder. En ek besef dit sou dalk die moeite werd wees, maar dit sou nie die pyn en seer werd wees nie.

En ek kies die roete van bang en lafhartigheid, maar ek kies dit met ‘n smile wat berekend en eerlik is.

Jy kies die donker, kies die hartseer;

En skielik is jy vry…

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